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  • Writer's pictureJade Langridge

Lyra’s Birth Story (3 of 3): A Tale of Modern Medicine and Ancient Wisdom

I share this for several reasons. Firstly, it has been a cathartic process of understanding, letting go, and finding peace by reflecting and writing about it. 


Secondly, I hope it may be of help for someone who goes through something similar (not least, unexpected breech and a retained placenta), and feels confused and in search of answers at a deeper level.


This is in three Parts:


The First Week

It was a tough week. I took some time to acknowledge that some of the sadness I felt was in grieving my desired postnatal recovery. That first week did not go as planned, and I’d missed out on the special time I’d envisioned and looked forward to.


That's faded now. I was overjoyed to learn that two women I knew also gave birth to girls at home on the same day, all within three hours of each other, all under the energies of a super full blue moon. 

I love this, and it makes me think that we have birthed the new generation of a witch's coven.


Emotional Swirl

Everything felt so surreal for quite a while. I felt a little bit disconnected. Reflecting back and in the moment, I think there was shock, fear, frustration, sadness, anger, confusion, all swirling through me and around me.


The Healing Journey

With the work that I do with energy healing in the body, I really couldn't understand why this had happened to me. I’d felt so healthy and so positive about the experience leading up to the birth. I’d felt so prepared that it really took me by surprise that I ended up in the hospital for three nights. 


I felt like I'd let down the homebirth community and all the people who’d advised against this and told me I was being selfish and stupid would be saying, "Haha, told you so."







Finding Gratitude

Looking back now, I realise the birth itself actually went pretty well, and I feel positive about it. 


I’d experienced a retained placenta, which happens to between one and three percent of all births. 


So, why did it happen to me? Why did I lose probably over a litre of blood? How could I put it behind me? What did it all mean? 


I just kept trying to remind myself that I was grateful that we lived near the hospital, that I was able to get help so quickly and that the staff were all so lovely.


Above all I was grateful that Lyra was healthy and wasn't affected by this process. 


And slowly but surely, I built my strength up. I stayed in bed and created a nest upstairs. And my dutiful husband kept bringing up food and drinks.


Kathryn the doula visited with more goodies to eat and drink, and to talk things through, which helped enormously.


Family Visits

Soon came the visits from my Dad and Maria, the siblings. Moments I'd imagined for years and years. It felt so special and quite emotional and overwhelming at times.


Spiritual Guidance

I tuned into spirit, oracle cards, my guides, and my highest self, and I asked the question, “What are the lessons from this process in particular with the retained placenta and the blood loss?”


This is what I was told: 

Due to mine and ancestral patterns of misguided love, lack of love, and betrayal, the heart had closed, and fear of rejection and hurt had put some barriers up. 


This process was to help open up to unconditional support and, when vulnerable and weak, to call in help and feel loved, to love and care for my inner child, who felt so overwhelmed, scared, and confused. 


All of this to help me open up to more expansive love for my daughter. 


Also, to help bring me closer to my own mum and the Eternal Mother.


To further push for absolute rest and an awareness of the fragility of the body, but also its resilience and healing power. 


The birth and the aftermath of the birth are to be powerful points on my timeline to reflect on my life creations and achievements. 


Returning to self to examine who I am now and honour what I have achieved, the more I embrace myself, the more I can embrace others, connecting with the energies of power, bravery, strength, resilience, and vulnerability.


Integrating the Experience

“What will help me let go of some of the resentment and sadness and integrate this?” 


Use the power of speech. Write about it. Acknowledge and claim energy as my own. Dance. Joyful path of the heart. 


I was prompted to change my perspective of it. 


To reject uncertain thoughts and narratives such as, I failed at my dream birth, I was irresponsible and risked my health and my baby's by having a home birth. 


Instead, I could switch my perspective to:

I birthed my firstborn daughter at home with no drug interventions, with home comforts and privacy and love from my husband and doula.


I channelled true grit, determination, strength, trust, and surrender.


I connected to my baby's soul, my guides, and beyond.


And breathed and birthed my darling baby daughter.



Exploring Deeper Meanings

“Were there any other reasons why the placenta did not release?” 


An unconscious blockage of not wanting pregnancy to end, an opportunity for a major release from the womb. Blood carries memories, trauma from generations past, fear of motherhood. 


My mother lost her mother (and father) young and has craved true love and acceptance in life, and I haven't always felt truly loved and accepted myself. 


Perhaps this is a release of fear of not being worthy or good enough. 


My guides called in energies to help integrate my acceptance of this event. My worthiness so I can create a relationship with Lyra. So she always feels loved, valued, and worthy. 


I'm worthy of receiving help. My birth was half very independent, then very needing to surrender to the professionals for help.


As with my work balance currently, my free birth was one foot outside the system in the alternative camp, calling on ancient wisdom and one foot in the system in a NHS hospital.


A Reminder of Balance

A reminder to me perhaps to incorporate both, as part of my mission in this lifetime is to help integrate these two worlds. 


I also tuned into my Akashic records to ask for further insights on this. 


I asked, “Are there any lessons or insights into my birth experience with Lyra to help me heal and raise my vibration?” 


I was told, an empowering yet also humbling experience, a rite of passage and opportunity for ancestral healing, a clearing of inherited trauma, lack of self-worth, guilt, shame, and fear. 


As you take back control of the narrative of your health and well-being, you also take back your power and your voice. You chose to birth at home, and you did, a beautiful portal opened, and you welcomed in your daughter, a wise beautiful soul. You released a lot, and you can call in even more light and love.


Moving Forward

I asked, “What will help me integrate these lessons and move forward?” 


“What is my next action step?” 


I was told, “You're already starting to do it. Reflection, release, moving the body, clean water, talking about it, writing about it, sharing it with others, energy healing, and looking after yourself.”


I've been told that I will use my experience, my lessons, and come up with something to then help others, some kind of postpartum energy healing package to help process what we, as mothers go through. 


Because gosh, isn't every birth amazing and different and probably one of the most intense life-altering events any woman can go through!


Sharing the Journey

So, here we are. 


It's my story of birthing Lyra. I share it partly as a cathartic release, partly for anyone that's curious, and partly for anyone that has been through something similar to normalise some of the complex emotions.


To know that you're not alone, and there's a lot we can do to support ourselves and others. 


On we go. Let me know what type of therapeutic/energetic support you wanted or want after your birth, and I’ll take note and see what evolves in my therapeutic offerings.


Watch this space.

The creatrix, aka The Mother energy

Picture courtesy of www.ellatheartist.com

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