I share this for several reasons. Firstly, it has been a cathartic process of understanding, letting go, and finding peace by reflecting and writing about it.
Secondly, I hope it may be of help for someone who goes through something similar (not least, unexpected breech and a retained placenta), and feels confused and in search of answers at a deeper level.
This is in three Parts:
The Birth (this post)
An Unexpected Journey
Reflections and Soul lessons (with help from my Spirit Guides and Akashic Records)
Preparation and the Onset of Labour
This was my first experience of pregnancy and birth. As someone who likes to plan and be organised, I did as much research and planning as possible.
We decided on a home birth in water, with hypnobirthing techniques to support us through it.
We also connected with a doula, Kathryn, https://www.mysacredbirth.co.uk/ who supported us before, during and after birth. I recommend you engage with a doula if at all possible.
We cleaned and reorganised the whole house, and filled the freezer with healthy meals and snacks. I was as ready as I could be.
At about 2am on 27th August 2023, I started to feel the first light surges. I was off to a steady relaxed start.
I watched Taskmaster, napped, ate some food, and had time in the Zen Den to create sacred space to call in my guides and connect with Kuan Yin and Mother Mary. They were strong energies present throughout my pregnancy journey.
I was able to get some sleep on and off and used the Tens machine to take the edge off the pain levels.
On the morning of the 28th, I felt the surges increasing in intensity. Still thinking we had plenty of time, I nested in bed, trying to relax as much as possible.
About midday, Quy made crumpets for lunch but I could only take one bite. I noticed that I was struggling to speak and thought, “Hey up, we’ve shifted into the next stage of labour.”
We started to time the surges (contractions) but it was hard to fully keep track of.
We attempted to make the bedroom nicer and I brought my birth altar in, with some incense, candles, and music playing.
Things Get Intense
After a trip to the loo, I came back in and Quy had opened the curtains, saying I needed sunlight - he’d heard on an Andrew Huberman podcast to get exposure first thing in the morning.
I told him in no uncertain terms, Andrew Huberman was not having a baby. He closed them.
Bright daylight was not the vibe, thank you very much.
I asked Quy to fill the birthing pool in the living room and that left just me and Starla, our miniature dachshund and my doggy doula (who gets top marks all around by the way, she knows how to get that oxytocin flowing, which helps the natural physiological side of birth).
I vomited several times and felt hot. Things got uncomfortable. It's hard to describe how it felt. I remember being on my knees a lot and leaning on the gym ball and my bed, pulling on the sheets.
I could feel a strong pressure moving through my pelvis and bum area and knew things were getting close.
At one point, I was convinced I’d be giving birth on my own on the bedroom floor as Quy was downstairs and Kathryn hadn't arrived yet.
Thankfully, she arrived and I could hear her talking to Quy downstairs but not what they were saying.
In my mind, I was willing her to come up; she did eventually and immediately started massaging my back which felt really good.
The Birth
I told Kathryn I felt it was going to happen soon. I just knew.
She informed Quy, who went into a state of panic as the pool was only 20% full, and would need another 60 minutes.
Ten minutes later he ran triumphantly into the bedroom to announce it was ready to go.
He’d remembered we had 15 x 1.5 litre bottles of Evian he'd bought the previous week when they were on promotion at the supermarket. By pure luck, the water that was already in the pool was too hot, so the final mix was just right.
Thank you, universe. Our little girl would be born into a pool of the finest mineral water.
I managed to waddle downstairs and into the pool which felt amazing. Quy and Kathryn started pouring water over my back and this helped take some of the intensity away.
Pretty much all of the affirmations I’d prepared had floated away and I found myself just repeating, “You can do this,”
I started channelling light language to call her soul down. I remember pausing at one point and leaning on the side of the pool as I got a download of information about her. She would be kind yet feisty. A helper on Earth. Funny, sweet, thoughtful.
I had a Soul Star chakra playlist on Spotify playing to help open up my channel and my body as a portal.
The Surprise
The intensity of the surges went up another level. I put my hand between my legs and felt her crown, and what I thought was a head.
I kept breathing, breathwork had been really helpful, using the Hypnobirth techniques I’d learned.
I focused on opening up my cervix and put my hands down again as I felt part of her come out. As I looked down, I just saw two tiny feet and legs sticking out of me and realised she was breech!
I told Kathryn who said, “Okay, now push”.
I felt a shift into action. A sharpness of focus. I started to push.
I sensed I just needed to get her out now. And within a minute or so, she did come out. I pulled her up, out of the water, and onto my chest. I was slightly in shock and everything seemed to just happen automatically.
Lyra’s Arrival
An actual baby was here. She’d been born breech which was a surprise to us all, but it didn't’ matter right now.
It all happened so quickly in the last stages and I’d expected it to have gone on longer.
The main feeling I remember is relief that she was safe and breathing. She was here and it felt amazing.
I sat with her on my chest in the pool for a moment, and checked her breathing. She was so tiny and quiet. I don't remember a cry, just looking at Quy looking back at me and the baby. Just taking it in.
We were Parents.
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